2020: Milestones and Lessons

I’ve been alive for quite some time. And yes, 2020 was definitely a year to remember – one filled with more unexpected twists and turns than any I can recall.

I’d like to explore some of those events in this post. But first, a caveat: I plan to indulge some of my more controversial biases in this accounting. I don’t do this to aggravate anyone or to sew more division than has already been stitched during this past year. I do it to feel, accept, and transcend my own emotions related to a year that I, like many of you, felt as though I had to endure – a year that definitely took a mental toll.

To mitigate my vent, though, I plan to follow my somewhat negative accounting with a proposed reframing – a shift in perspective that I hope will help some of you – and me – emerge from this year stronger, wiser, and more joyful than ever.

Milestones

With that, here’s my list of the top 4 milestones of 2020:

Milestone #1: The worst global pandemic since 1918, resulting in the most radical and rapid lifestyle changes that I’ve ever undergone or witnessed, including:

• Social distancing, mask-wearing, testing, and quarantining
• An unprecedented increase in at-home schooling, working, and Netflix watching
• Rampant unemployment and small business failures
• Stark new evidence that our political and economic systems continue to favor the wealthy and privileged over the masses of working stiffs and impoverished misfortunates who lack any significant social, economic, or political power

Milestone #2: The most widespread and vociferous protests against racial inequality and police brutality since the 1960’s, sparked by persistent systemic racism in the U.S., as evidenced by (among many other incidents):

• Ahmaud Arbery’s murder by white supremacists
• Breonna Taylor’s murder by police
• George Floyd’s murder by police
• Jacob Blake’s murder by police

Milestone #3: The most divisive presidential election in my lifetime, primarily due to:

• Political polarization on a level not seen since the Civil War, stoked by
• An incompetent, narcissistic, corrupt, racist, impeached president, supported by
• Opportunistic sycophants (politicians and media pundits), as well as
• An unbelievably large number of fearful, gullible, and/or racist Americans

Milestone #4: A record number of hurricanes, fires, and heat waves, caused by:

• Human-caused climate change
• Human-caused climate change
• Human-caused climate change
• Human-caused climate change

Okay, vent over. Please join me as we take a wider, more objective, less emotional view of the human condition at this moment in the history of our species.

Anthropological evidence indicates that early humans generally gathered – and thrived – in relatively small communities. Each of us is apparently designed to socially interact with “tribes” of not more than about 150 people. Consequently, the unprecedented infestation of billions of humans on our planet during the past several centuries, many congregating in densely populated urban centers, combined with the currently pervasive communication technology, can’t help but challenge our penchant for small communities and put a strain on our individual and collective wellbeing.

Is it any wonder that our social and political systems are out of whack all over the world? Is it any wonder that we are increasingly at each other’s throats, that we are destroying our planet, and that we can’t figure out how to fix anything, let alone agree on what’s wrong?

Lessons

As promised, here’s a list of lessons that I’ve chosen to take away from our 2020 joy ride. Some of these lessons are admittedly contrived. I suppose they all are. Still, they seem to be helping me accept reality and transcend my ego-inspired fears. Although Trump and his enablers continue to disrupt our democracy, COVID-19 continues to surge, and little has been done to mitigate our climate-killing or to un-systemize our racism, I nevertheless feel hopeful as the new year approaches. See if you agree.

Lesson #1: If you’re no longer surprised, you’re no longer alive.
Humans have evolved to appreciate and feel comforted by routine, and to become agitated if that routine is disrupted. That was probably a good thing for our ancestors’ survival – it’s good to notice a random growl when none is expected. But when internal alarm bells are forever ringing due to a constant barrage of disruptions and distractions, the result is prolonged stress. And if we don’t learn to manage that stress, something like a pandemic can wreak havoc on our collective and individual emotional wellbeing.

Solution? Learn to manage those alarm bells. Emotional regulation is key to any wellness program. So, take some time each day to relax, reflect, and practice mindfulness. (Hey! Why not begin a meditation practice?)

Lesson #2: Tribalism is alive and well.
A negative consequence of our tribal sensibilities is an instinctive distrust of the “other,” which has developed over millennia into a racism deeply rooted in our social systems and within each individual. Some of us have benefited from mentors who have shown us that our tribal-oriented fear of outsiders is no longer required for survival. Some of us have learned that kindness and empathy are not weaknesses, but rather strengths that contribute to the improvement of our relationships and our communal systems. Unfortunately, that increase in kindness and empathy has not yet overcome our primal tendency to fear and mistrust strangers.

Solution? As with most fears, our fear of strangers is mostly illusory. Sure, it pays to avoid high-crime areas and resist spitting on shirtless young men with face tattoos. But absent an actual threat, the emotion of fear is mostly a harmful habit. Again, developing mindfulness and emotional regulatory skills can help tremendously. That, and spending less time on social media.

Lesson #3: Power corrupts (you know the rest).
I was going to title this lesson “everyone lies,” but I decided that (1) that’s too obvious and (2) I think a discussion about power dynamics might be more helpful. Truth is, despite our country’s founding declaration, all people are not created equal. Each of us possesses unique strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and frailties. Whether we choose to admit it or not, each of us also covets power over others. Such a craving likely stems from the same survival instinct that fuels our fear of foreigners. If we control a situation through domination, we feel safer.

Unfortunately, in our current capitalistic, commoditized world, the more socially advantaged have the best chance of dominating others. When such a privileged person also learns how to exploit our fears, the result is our current president. Trump has learned, likely by watching his father, that stoking people’s fear of strangers and their fear of scarcity can keep a certain percentage of them fooled, frothy, and dependent.

Solution? This is a tough one. Power dynamics and fear mongering are inevitable so long as our cultural structure is rooted in consumerism. Emotional regulation helps, of course. Definitely meditate and develop your mindfulness skills and your ability to accept and surrender to the moment. It also helps to persistently question your assumptions about others and your need to control and dominate others in order to be happy. To put it in aphoristic terms, practice giving folks the benefit of the doubt and going with the flow.

Lesson #4: Humans cannot solve global problems.
I realize that my fourth lesson might sound like a quitter’s rationale. And yes, I’m advocating surrender here, but not the kind of surrender one proclaims when defeated. I’m advocating an acceptance of the inevitability of widespread impacts caused by unmanageable population growth – the “infestation” I mentioned earlier. I don’t believe that our species can prevent a cataclysmic climate event without a massive and transcendent shift in our collective consciousness. And I don’t believe such a shift can happen absent a cataclysmic event. Even during this unprecedented pandemic, global pollution continued almost unabated. Yes, there were longer stretches of less polluted days. But no destructive trends were reversed.

Nevertheless, I still maintain a kernel of hope that humans will somehow transcend their egoic individuality in favor of a kinder, more collective approach to life. In the meantime, though, I’m going to let go of my desire for that to happen and simply live each day as conscientiously as possible. I encourage you to do the same. I’ll do my part and I’ll encourage others to do theirs. But I’ll try to let go of my expectations so that I can focus on the wonder and joy of each moment.

Happy New Year

There you have it – lessons from a year that both challenged and astonished. The primary lesson, of course, is the same as it is after any challenging or traumatic event. If we can survive this, we can survive anything.

For those who lost jobs, homes, or loved ones during this pandemic, I sincerely hope the new year brings you some relief from your pain, and maybe even a little joy.

Happy new year, everyone.