As the years persistently roll along – I celebrated 70 of them in October – I’ve become both appreciative and increasingly conflicted about each approaching “new year.” I understand that merely accumulating years does not guaranty an increase in wisdom. Still, I’m egotistical enough to think I’ve amassed a bit of insight along my journey.
One thing I’ve noticed is the speed with which new year’s resolutions are typically abandoned. I suspect that happens because the planning process is much more rewarding than the work required to make any significant life changes. Who doesn’t enjoy perusing their list of goals for the new year, thinking some version of, “that’s the ticket.”
Ticket to what? Why are we driven to plan and scheme? Why can’t we find contentment in just being?
I’m not suggesting that we all couldn’t use some positive changes in our habitual behaviors. Some of us would benefit from eating a healthier diet, or spending more time with friends, or learning to cook, or drinking more water, or taking regular walks, or saying ‘no’ occasionally to our drug dealer. For pretty much all of us, there’s room to change our approach to life that will benefit us in the long run – provide us with more opportunity to savor and enjoy that life.
Seeking improvement is not the problem – improvement is dandy. The problem is fixating on improvement at the expense of appreciating our unique string of nows.
The past is memory. The future is fiction. Only now is real.
Therefore, here’s my suggestion for your top new year’s resolution for 2025. Resolve to pay attention more often and more persistently to your nows.
Start today with a brief meditation. Sit in a chair or on the floor (a pillow is helpful), close your eyes, and count your breaths. Inhale, “one,” exhale, “two,” inhale “one,” exhale “two.” When you find yourself having become distracted, thinking about this or that chore or slight, simply start counting your breaths again. Do that for about 5 minutes (set a timer on your phone, with a gentle sound, like birds chirping).
That’s the basis of mindfulness meditation: paying attention to the breath until you become distracted in thought, then recognizing you’ve become distracted and refocusing on your breath. Simple as that. And hint: the gentle catching/refocusing is the mission – the whole point of the exercise.
Resolve to do that every day, starting with 5 minutes and increasing to about 15 or 20 if you feel up to it. If you miss a day, no worries, just start again. Isn’t each day a “start again” for life anyway?
Then, as you move throughout your days, occasionally catch your distracted mind the same way you do when meditating, but during “regular” activities, like working at your desk or cooking a meal. How many times have you been cracking some eggs into a pan, thinking “I really need to get the car fixed” rather than focusing on the egg cracking? Same deal. Catch the distracted thought, then refocus on the activity at hand.
Live more nows.
Happy New Year!